I didn't know that people around me were afraid of talking with me until recently. I would never know it if I didn't dare myself to open up and let people share their thought.
I said, I just didn't know how to react. So, I kept silent. It didn't mean I don't like the conversation. I was just observing, with a blank face, since I wasn't sure how-to response. Probably, people get confused since my only response is "Ooh", "oh ya?", "wow".
Along the way, I found out that it matters a lot. I didn't know that it's a skill that everybody is supposed to have until lately. Unfortunately, most of us don't learn it properly. It results in uncertainty, unclarity, or even an abandonment in any social relationships. Growing up, I realize that so many resentments came from that lack of communication, which actually could have been prevented by a simple sentence.
Throwing back to my childhood. I used to ask many questions. I had a quite massive curiosity. When I asked question, and got a blank silent, I asked myself, "why do people keep silent, is it a difficult question? is it an approval or rejection?"
And I got no answer, so I just relied on my young assumption. Sometimes the impact is hurtful. It felt like constant abandonments. It took years to realize and learn about this. Communication is essential.
If you don't know the answer, admit it. If you make a mistake, own it. Learn to say sorry. If you want something, brace yourself to convey it. Nobody can read others' mind. Maybe that's why we have a lot of languages as tools. Countless tools out there.
But why people keep choosing the language of heart? Maybe it's because other languages need to be acquired before you can use it. Or communication is not that simple? But definitely, we can work on it.
Perhaps, that is the reason I am drawn to people who are able to articulate themselves. Once I met a person who is expressive and articulate. I wonder, what kind of childhood did this person has? Is it learnt? Or a gift?
Thankfully, I get to know that this skill can be learnt. And turned out, learning it is enjoyable. At first, it felt awkward and strange since it doesn't seem like me. But I keep reminding myself that I am not fake. I am just underway installing a new feature.
I can't wait for more fruitful impact of this lifelong learning process. It feels like you are listened to. You can give more influence and spread more impact. And it feels like an answer.